The News from Gridleyville

Liberal types like Yours Truly thought we knew how bad the Big Rump would be when he reclaimed his throne and won control of Congress as well. We knew about Project 2025, and we saw in the latter stages of his first residency that he’d figured out the value of filling key offices with little rumpies (lackeys) who’d do anything he told them. We knew he’d cripple the economy with tariffs, undermine Ukraine, and give Bibi the Nutty Yahoo free rein to kill Palestinians. We guessed that, along the way, he’d enrich himself, his family, his cronies. So we went around muttering darkly about the end of democracy at home and looming disasters abroad; we stared at the sky to find signs it might fall.

But I for one should admit that, so far, it’s been worse than expected. He’s surprised me in a number of ways.

First, his whimsicality and general incompetence haven’t hindered him as much as I presumed, partly because the little rumpies he’s appointed have been so zealous in their destruction of norms and institutions. They too are often incompetent, but their angry persistence helps break through commonsense resistance. I certainly didn’t anticipate that he’d empower a MuskRat to gut scores of government agencies.

Second, he has weaponized Big Gov more than I realized possible. I mean, all those agencies, some of which I’d never heard of, cracking down on everybody? Pulling funding, for one thing, and using threats to pressure even megacorps and major universities? Who knew he could get a comedian fired from a huge broadcast network simply by demanding it?

Third, I didn’t anticipate the abundance of CorCows and UniCows—corporations and universities proving themselves abject cowards when faced with the possibility that he’d block their oligarchic mergers or attack their funding. I would have expected an ounce of self-respect from the leaders, boards, and trustees of these institutions. I was so naïve!

Fourth, his ability simply to break the law without consequences—and often ignore court rulings—has gone beyond my predictions. It’s not just raping the occasional female or scamming the public or committing bribery. It’s deporting immigrants despite a court’s telling him not to, blowing up boats in international waters, sending troops to bully cities with fake claims of an emergency. Granted, he seems to have pulled back lately on outright defiance of court orders, but maybe that’s from confidence that his Supreme cronies will ultimately rule in his favor.

Fifth, I didn’t guess how blatantly out in the open all this would be. Yes, his agencies have banged the shutters against transparency. But in the broadest sense, we’ve seen self-dealing with no sugarcoating, even his own cryptocurrency with no crypt about it. As for the use of power, it’s been an iron fist in an iron glove.

I take a smidgen of comfort in polls that show his popularity is tanking. But will it matter what the public thinks? If it’s still possible to vote freely and meaningfully in 2028—a dubious proposition—will we already be dead from the next pandemic that the decimated CDC didn’t warn us about?

Wait, look up—is that the sky falling?